So I am gonna break this post up into categories because there is so much to discuss :)
LUKE
Luke is 2 1/2 months old and growing like a weed. He is almost 14 lbs and he is smiling and cooing like crazy! He is such a happy baby except when he needs the essentials of course. His head control is amazing...both him and Eli are/were such strong little babies! He can roll from his tummy to his back during tummy time but it's not consistent yet. The greatest thing? When Luke smiles, his WHOLE face lights up. His eyes just shine and his mouth gets so big and he sticks out his tongue and that smile takes up his whole face. It makes me so. damn. proud. Everyone says he looks like a mini Carlos and it is so true! We joke that we got one of each...a light and a dark (mocha latte according to my mom) baby. Luke brings a whole new sense of joy into our lives. He is such a special, sweet baby and the minute he was born I told Carlos he had a sweet soul. He was going to be a good person. It is hard to imagine that you could love another human being as much as you love your first child but you can. Oh boy you can! That is the true miracle of it all...that God can bless you with your children and the ability to love them equally and unequivocally.
Now there have been some bumps in the road. Luke came down with RSV and its been a rough couple of weeks. I have come to the conclusion that when you have more than one child, they are going to get sick because they pass germs. There is no way around it. So instead of fighting it, you do the best you can and hope it is just helping to build their immune system. So, along with a cough and congestion, Luke has been a little needier because he feels icky. Slowly but surely he is getting better with his breathing treatments and some extra TLC :) We still aren's sleeping through the night. Well...technically yes he is but not in my book. He goes to bed between 7:30-8:00 and sleeps for about 6 hours. We feed him and then he sleeps for another 4. And sometimes he will go back down for a couple but if not, we are up and ready to roll! I will say though, Luke NEVER had a problem differentiating day from night. He set his own schedule by 3 weeks and he in just an inherently scheduled baby. You better bathe him and put him to bed by a certain time or all hell breaks loose...and we never pushed this schedule! It just sort of happened. While nice, it is inconvenient at times, especially when we are out. Regardless, Luke is obviously one our biggest miracles and greatest achievements. Our love for him grows by the second and we feel so blessed.
ELIJAH
Elijah is such a big boy! He is almost 18 months and learning so many things everyday! He is talking more and more and he understands directions that we give him...although he doesn't always want to follow them :) He loves to do basic wood puzzles and build with his mega blocks. He is very into "mama" right now and loves to gives kisses, hugs, and blow kisses. Elijah is truly a loving child...as well as a little mischievous, which we will discuss in a minute. He loves to go to school and has made so many cute friends and the teachers absolutely love him. Like, they want me to leave him longer everyday so they can spend time with him. I LOVE that they love him. And treat him so well. And would honestly do anything for him. He is kind of a teachers pet...and I am totally ok with that! As a matter of fact, the teacher who teaches the 3 year olds wants to switch to the 2 year old room so she can teach Eli next year. It must be those killer blue eyes. I try to tell them that he is not perfect and has a mean streak but they refuse to hear it ;) He loves to read, kick a ball, go to the park, go on the "weeee" (slide), and run...and he runs like his mama...goofy as hell. But on him it looks cute. Too bad I can't get away with that!
Along with all the laughs and the daily "wrestling matches", chasing mommy and horsey riding on daddy, we have our moments as well. Elijah has learned how to throw tantrums. And I mean all out-balls to the wall-screaming tantrums. As parents, it is hard to know exactly what to do and sometimes one approach just doesn't work. Most of the time we just let him throw it and ignore it. At times (when it is really bad) we have put him in time out and he will sit there for about a minute before we exchange hugs. We use stern voices at times and other times we just redirect. I think this has been the hardest part of parenting by far. You aren't sure if what you are doing is right or if you are doing something wrong, how it will affect them later in life. I guess you just have to believe that what you are doing is the right thing because it is out of love. I want Eli to know that there are boundaries he can't cross and there are things that are not acceptable. For example, he hits me in the face sometimes. Only me. I have taught him how to use "nice hands" and "pet" mommy's face or give hugs instead but sometimes he still does it. I redirect him to being nice and when that doesn't work, mean mommy comes out with her stern voice. Most of the time he just laughs. This is the most aggravating part because you think that they just think its a game. I used to think, "My child will never act like that!" Ha. If you are reading this and your child hasn't reached this stage, they will. Oh boy will they! Regardless of the trying times, Elijah is the funniest, loving, adventurous, caring, beautiful little boy. I cannot believe he is a year and half old and the days of baby hood are fading and little boyhood are taking over. It is the most bittersweet feeling I have ever experienced.
MULTIPLE CHILDREN. WELL, MORE LIKE TWO CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 2
Holy. Cow. Is it supposed to be this hard?? We have one child who is NONSTOP and another who needs our attention 24/7 and lets you know...loudly You almost feel like you need to multiply yourself 10x over to manage. Sometimes at the end of the day I say to myself, "You did it. You survived another day" Other times I think, "I can't do this tomorrow. What did we get ourselves into??" And other times I think, "Tomorrow I will do better with this." It is a constant battle of trying to do better, stretch your time, balancing a normal life, and make time for you and your spouse. Unfortunately what has suffered is Carlos and I in terms of having time for eachother. In a perfect world this wouldn't be the case. In an honest one, it is definitely the case. Our world revolves around our children and we are so exhausted that after they go to bed, we do our nightly routine of cleaning and dishes and running the dog and we crash. We experienced this on a lesser level when Eli was born and it got better. I know that it will this time too. But the beginning is hard. Your whole life has changed...your balance is off kilter. Some days you are just trying to survive and others you are just so tired you can't think. Carlos and I love eachother...more than anything. We fight. We argue. But, we know that we are eachother's everything. We know it is important to set time aside to talk, to date, to just be with eachother but we also know that right now, it is very difficult. Our relationship is paramount because it's the reason we have our children. After God, it is the most important thing to us. And although we don't always get time to be with just eachother, we work as a team EVERYDAY. This is what makes us stronger. What makes us resilient. We made the move to AZ because Carlos had the opportunity to work for my father's small business and give us a better financial situation. Two teacher salaries is hard to live off of and with a second child coming, it was almost impossible. We had a rough start as it took longer for Carlos to get licensed and then business was slow due to the holidays. Praise God for putting us through that tough time...it makes you humble and makes you realize how truly in control the Lord is. Now Carlos has so much business he is working nonstop and we thank God!!! We know that these times are the times, that if we get through together, will make us stronger as a married couple. Everyday, the balance to our lives becomes a little more stable and we are one step closer to being able to have those long date nights once more :)
As hard as it is, we are so grateful to God for the two sons we get to call our own. That we were blessed enough to choose us as their parents. I love when Eli says "Where baby? Where baby?" and when I bring him into his room to see him, he happily screams, "Baaabbbbbyyyy!!!!" or when he kisses him on the head. THe times Luke hears his brothers voice and immediately smiles and coos (seriously....this really does happen!). I love bathtime. It is the time when all four of us play and are calm and enjoy talking to eachother. We work as a team and we get to have fun. As our boys grow, I look forward to the soccer games, to the days of brothers being brothers and playing/roughhousing. Our lives have been given such purpose and fulfillment that sometimes it is hard to take in. It is the most intense love you can experience. Is it hard? Hell yes. By far, it is the hardest thing we have EVER done. I won't lie, sometimes I think that if Luke hadn't been our surprise baby, I would have waited ALOT longer to have another child. But although it is hard now, God has a perfect plan and ELijah and Luke were meant to be brothers. I wouldn't trade our lives for anything...even on the days I want to join in on the crying fest. (I am serious about this. Sometimes I just want to cry while the boys cry. Maybe one day I will...it may make me feel better!)
THINGS WE HAVE LEARNED
-You can't divide your time equally between kids. It is impossible so don't try. I learned this reeaaal quick.
-Sometimes the baby just has to get a lung workout while you take care of the other kiddo.
-With your second child, certain things don't phase you anymore. See above. And you don't worry about poop as much. At least I don't. With Elijah I examined his poop.
-Let people judge. With Eli I was so worried about people judging me for feeding him formula, not babywearing, etc. Now, I could care less. Yep. I give Luke formula sometimes. Sure, I baby wear more this time but not all the time. Oh yeah and the crying it out thing? Do that too. It totally grinds my gears when people post things about how formula is so bad (guess what? IT'S OKAY TO FORMULA FEED!) or how if you discipline a certain way, you will ruin your child. Its just not true. Being a mother is the hardest job there is and the pressure put on mothers makes me very sad. I am glad I am one who now understands it's ok to do what you feel is best and not what others think is. I wasn't always this kind of mother. I have worked hard to become one.
-Any parent that judges another parent needs more to do. Or rather, maybe needs to look at what they are doing a little more closely. Admittedly, I was one of these people. No...my child won't throw tantrums. No...my child won't hit. No...my child won't be a picky eater. Guess what? ALL CHILDREN GO THROUGH THESE THINGS. And to judge a parent by how they handle or do things is not effective. It is actually detrimental to moms...especially new ones. Every mom is amazing. Every mom deserves ALOT of kudos.
-Come up with daily mantras/things I have to just say out loud (hey, my kids don't understand EVERYTHING I say yet). So far I have had to the following: "I will get through this", "It will get better soon", "This will pass", "Stay calm and forge ahead", "Moms do this everyday", "Ignore the small things", "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Help!!!!", "Carlos you better get home. Soon."
-Holy crap. Literally. How can two boys poop so much. The best is when they both do it at the same time and neither one likes to have a dirty diaper longer than 2.3 seconds.
-You would think laundry just doubles. Somehow, magically is quadruples.
-When you finally sit on the couch after both boys are fed and put to sleep, you truly feel accomplished. Mainly just for surviving but accomplished nonetheless.
Raising 2 children under 2 isn't always pretty. In fact, most of the time it isn't. But the moments in between all the crying, poopy diapers, feedings, no sleep, and attitude/tantrums, there are the moments of complete happiness and cuteness. Moments of peace and amazement. Those are the moments that get you through. Those are the moments that totally make every minute, bad and good, worth it.
