Soooo...big announcement.

Well, big announcement for us. As a family. Like a total life changer. But I guess that is the point of something like this.

We are moving back to Austin.

Whew! It's finally out there! Most people who are close to us already know, but I figured instead of answering 5 million individual questions, I would just put it all right here. I will do my best to explain our situation...even though I guess it's not totally necessary. I just feel like there is a message from our journey that others could benefit from. So I will do my best. Here goes!

We moved to Phoenix to engage in an opportunity that we thought would be best for our  family. Financially we would make a lot more money, we would still be around family, and I would be able to teach with my best friend! It was a perfect situation and so we took the risk.

Settling into the move here in AZ was difficult. Mainly because I was pregnant, starting a new job, and business had suddenly (and unfortunately) gotten very slow. Financially, it was difficult at first. We were tested in ways we had never really been tested and had to sacrifice a lot more than we ever were prepared to do. I make about $11,000 less here in AZ. Carlos and I stressed month to month and when Luke had to start daycare, things were slowly getting better but two daycares, two car payments, a rent payment, and just everyday costs was not easy. Personally, I was going through some things with others (I won't get into it here) and I felt alone. Carlos and I had (at the time) jokingly said we couldn't wait to get back to Austin but we figured this was it...this was what we had decided to do and it was our bed to lie in.

Things started to look up. We were able to build a beautiful 2,700 sq ft house with every upgrade we wanted, in a neighborhood desired by many. We moved in, business was up, and things seemed ok. We were excited about settling in and getting to know our neighbors and participating in our communities events. Yet, as the excitement and newness of the situation started to dissipate, we found ourselves still wanting to be back in Austin. It was something that was always in the back of our mind. Something that we always wanted to end up doing but probably not until much later. And then, one day, we hit a breaking point. Like the "wow-we-only-live-once" kind of point. It is hard to explain this kind of realization unless you have experienced something like it. Actually I kinda think it is kind of Carlos' and I's thing. We knew we were in love within weeks of knowing each other and we were engaged within 2 months. We just knew. And in this instance we just know what is right for our family.

We make a lot more money than we did in Austin. We live in a much nicer neighborhood than we did in TX. Our house is a dream house. And you know what?? We are absolutely ok with giving that up for a simpler, less overwhelming way of life. A lot of people don't understand this. They don't get why we would leave if we make more money and own this beautiful house. Really, it is very simple: we have experienced life with less and we have experienced it with "more". But what is "more"? Is is new cars? New clothes? A high paying job? Or is it happiness? And family time? And simplicity? We have chosen the latter. Why in life, is the stigma that if you have more, you are happier? If you own the best things, life is easier? If you have MORE, you must have a perfect life? No one's journey is ever easy. It is never perfect. And the moment you think it is, God decides to flip it around a little to make sure you are paying attention. Paying attention to the important things...the things that make you happy. The things that make you a better person so you can benefit others around you. I never understood this lesson until having gone through these last couple of years.

Some people ask if we regret moving or if we think we have wasted time. My answer is absolutely not. In no way, was this time spent in vain. We learned life lessons that can only be learned by taking this kind of risk. I have learned that my family, my husband and my kids, are the absolute priority in my life. A lot of people can say that but do they truly understand it...understand what that really, REALLY means?  I have learned that having money does not equal happiness and neither does a big house. That keeping things simple is what happiness is made of. If you don't do what makes you happy in this one life you are given, if you try to push a situation that just isn't right, you end up full of regret. So was moving to AZ something I will regret? No. But not going back to Austin would be.

(I used to find myself doing this A LOT. But finding peace with yourself makes that kind of comparison completely useless and really weighs you down. I find much more joy with being happy for others, knowing that their journey is their OWN; not mine.)

In order to make this decision I have felt guilt. Sadness. Grief. Happiness. Joy. I have probably been through the entire gambit of emotions. I am so sad to leave the amazing people I work with. To leave my family. To leave my best friend/lover who has been there for me for 15 years. For my other girls who I love just as much and make me laugh whenever we are together. I will miss their families. I will miss this house. Not because it is a "dream" house but because of all the handprints our children have left on the wall, the memories made jumping on the bed, the bath times, the story times, and all the "I love you's" shared between us four behind these walls. It may have been a short time but it was still time I cherish and hold dear. I know that eventually we will own another home in Austin where we will raise our children. Before this experience I would  have worried about if that home would be "acceptable" enough; if it was on the right side of town or if it was new enough. But now I am excited to find a home that holds our joy, our memories, and our laughter...regardless of how big, new, or "upgraded" it is.

And not to worry! Our family here in Arizona, is supportive of the move. Although Carlos came on board to help expand the business and help my dad, we didn't just up and decide this move without their blessing and LOTS of talking. They of course are sad to see us move but they understand. When I have moments of doubt and ask my mom if I am absolutely nuts, she reassures me...she tells me that she saw a little light go out in me (and Carlos) that was there in Austin. In those times when I doubt myself, and she tells me this, I realize all over again how right this decision is for us. My dad completely understands as well. His business will not suffer. He has a business deal with a friend who is going to buy the business so he can officially retire. God is good and it always works out.


Austin is our home. It is our happy place. It isn't just the place we find so captivating, it's the people. Our friends there. Our family. It is kind of funny how a place does that to you. And some people never experience that "true home" feeling; I feel blessed that we do and we know Austin is our home. Carlos and I "grew up" there as adults, as a married couple, and as parents. We are going back with excitement and also a bittersweet feeling. But...new memories await us and just like any new adventure, we are nervous but filled with hope that this is God's will. I will continue to teach. I am going to get a Masters as soon as I know if I am an in state resident still (we owned a home there this entire time so it's a weird situation). I am going to be a better mom and wife. I can't wait to see old friends and make new ones. I will miss everyone here dearly but I will always have roots in Arizona. There are always two reasons for us to come back and visit: family & friends!

In closing, I have to say that I love my husband. Through all of this, our marriage has been strengthened, when at times it didn't feel like it. We have been through more these last 2 years than we ever thought we would have to experience all at once. Through it all though, we stay committed to one another, we love each other, and we know that this decision is best for our relationship. He is my best friend and my soulmate. The only one that can take my craziness at times and calm me down (ok, well sometimes). Carlos, I love you more than anything. Here is to another new journey...another turn in our path...and I wouldn't want to do it with anyone but you!

Our life up to date :)

And yet again, I have not kept up with my blog. But who is gonna blame me? Life has completely changed and has become about 10,000 times busier. I am here tonight to update about as much as I can...and although some of it may seem not so positive, I promise it is only me trying to be as honest as I can be.

So I am gonna break this post up into categories because there is so much to discuss :)

LUKE

Luke is 2 1/2 months old and growing like a weed. He is almost 14 lbs and he is smiling and cooing like crazy! He is such a happy baby except when he needs the essentials of course. His head control is amazing...both him and Eli are/were such strong little babies! He can roll from his tummy to his back during tummy time but it's not consistent yet. The greatest thing? When Luke smiles, his WHOLE face lights up. His eyes just shine and his mouth gets so big and he sticks out his tongue and that smile takes up his whole face. It makes me so. damn. proud. Everyone says he looks like a mini Carlos and it is so true! We joke that we got one of each...a light and a dark (mocha latte according to my mom) baby. Luke brings a whole new sense of joy into our lives. He is such a special, sweet baby and the minute he was born I told Carlos he had a sweet soul. He was going to be a good person. It is hard to imagine that you could love another human being as much as you love your first child but you can. Oh boy you can! That is the true miracle of it all...that God can bless you with your children and the ability to love them equally and unequivocally.

Now there have been some bumps in the road. Luke came down with RSV and its been a rough couple of weeks. I have come to the conclusion that when you have more than one child, they are going to get sick because they pass germs. There is no way around it. So instead of fighting it, you do the best you can and hope it is just helping to build their immune system. So, along with a cough and congestion, Luke has been a little needier because he feels icky. Slowly but surely he is getting better with his breathing treatments and some extra TLC :) We still aren's sleeping through the night. Well...technically yes he is but not in my book. He goes to bed between 7:30-8:00 and sleeps for about 6 hours. We feed him and then he sleeps for another 4. And sometimes he will go back down for a couple but if not, we are up and ready to roll! I will say though, Luke NEVER had a problem differentiating day from night. He set his own schedule by 3 weeks and he in just an inherently scheduled baby. You better bathe him and put him to bed by a certain time or all hell breaks loose...and we never pushed this schedule! It just sort of happened. While nice, it is inconvenient at times, especially when we are out. Regardless, Luke is obviously one our biggest miracles and greatest achievements. Our love for him grows by the second and we feel so blessed.

ELIJAH

Elijah is such a big boy! He is almost 18 months and learning so many things everyday! He is talking more and more and he understands directions that we give him...although he doesn't always want to follow them :) He loves to do basic wood puzzles and build with his mega blocks. He is very into "mama" right now and loves to gives kisses, hugs, and blow kisses. Elijah is truly a loving child...as well as a little mischievous, which we will discuss in a minute. He loves to go to school and has made so many cute friends and the teachers absolutely love him. Like, they want me to leave him longer everyday so they can spend time with him. I LOVE that they love him. And treat him so well. And would honestly do anything for him. He is kind of a teachers pet...and I am totally ok with that! As a matter of fact, the teacher who teaches the 3 year olds wants to switch to the 2 year old room so she can teach Eli next year. It must be those killer blue eyes. I try to tell them that he is not perfect and has a mean streak but they refuse to hear it ;) He loves to read, kick a ball, go to the park, go on the "weeee" (slide), and run...and he runs like his mama...goofy as hell. But on him it looks cute. Too bad I can't get away with that!

Along with all the laughs and the daily "wrestling matches", chasing mommy and horsey riding on daddy, we have our moments as well. Elijah has learned how to throw tantrums. And I mean all out-balls to the wall-screaming tantrums. As parents, it is hard to know exactly what to do and sometimes one approach just doesn't work. Most of the time we just let him throw it and ignore it. At times (when it is really bad) we have put him in time out and he will sit there for about a minute before we exchange hugs. We use stern voices at times and other times we just redirect. I think this has been the hardest part of parenting by far. You aren't sure if what you are doing is right or if you are doing something wrong, how it will affect them later in life. I guess you just have to believe that what you are doing is the right thing because it is out of love. I want Eli to know that there are boundaries he can't cross and there are things that are not acceptable. For example, he hits me in the face sometimes. Only me. I have taught him how to use "nice hands" and "pet" mommy's face or give hugs instead but sometimes he still does it. I redirect him to being nice and when that doesn't work, mean mommy comes out with her stern voice. Most of the time he just laughs. This is the most aggravating part because you think that they just think its a game. I used to think, "My child will never act like that!" Ha. If you are reading this and your child hasn't reached this stage, they will. Oh boy will they! Regardless of the trying times, Elijah is the funniest, loving, adventurous, caring, beautiful little boy. I cannot believe he is a year and half old and the days of baby hood are fading and little boyhood are taking over. It is the most bittersweet feeling I have ever experienced.

MULTIPLE CHILDREN. WELL, MORE LIKE TWO CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 2

Holy. Cow. Is it supposed to be this hard?? We have one child who is NONSTOP and another who needs our attention 24/7 and lets you know...loudly You almost feel like you need to multiply yourself 10x over to manage. Sometimes at the end of the day I say to myself, "You did it. You survived another day" Other times I think, "I can't do this tomorrow. What did we get ourselves into??" And other times I think, "Tomorrow I will do better with this." It is a constant battle of trying to do better, stretch your time, balancing a normal life, and make time for you and your spouse. Unfortunately what has suffered is Carlos and I in terms of having time for eachother. In a perfect world this wouldn't be the case. In an honest one, it is definitely the case. Our world revolves around our children and we are so exhausted that after they go to bed, we do our nightly routine of cleaning and dishes and running the dog and we crash. We experienced this on a lesser level when Eli was born and it got better. I know that it will this time too. But the beginning is hard. Your whole life has changed...your balance is off kilter. Some days you are just trying to survive and others you are just so tired you can't think. Carlos and I love eachother...more than anything. We fight. We argue. But, we know that we are eachother's everything. We know it is important to set time aside to talk, to date, to just be with eachother but we also know that right now, it is very difficult. Our relationship is paramount because it's the reason we have our children. After God, it is the most important thing to us. And although we don't always get time to be with just eachother, we work as a team EVERYDAY. This is what makes us stronger. What makes us resilient. We made the move to AZ because Carlos had the opportunity to work for my father's small business and give us a better financial situation. Two teacher salaries is hard to live off of and with a second child coming, it was almost impossible. We had a rough start as it took longer for Carlos to get licensed and then business was slow due to the holidays. Praise God for putting us through that tough time...it makes you humble and makes you realize how truly in control the Lord is. Now Carlos has so much business he is working nonstop and we thank God!!! We know that these times are the times, that if we get through together, will make us stronger as a married couple. Everyday, the balance to our lives becomes a little more stable and we are one step closer to being able to have those long date nights once more :)

As hard as it is, we are so grateful to God for the two sons we get to call our own. That we were blessed enough to choose us as their parents. I love when Eli says "Where baby? Where baby?" and when I bring him into his room to see him, he happily screams, "Baaabbbbbyyyy!!!!" or when he kisses him on the head. THe times Luke hears his brothers voice and immediately smiles and coos (seriously....this really does happen!). I love bathtime. It is the time when all four of us play and are calm and enjoy talking to eachother. We work as a team and we get to have fun. As our boys grow, I look forward to the soccer games, to the days of brothers being brothers and playing/roughhousing. Our lives have been given such purpose and fulfillment that sometimes it is hard to take in. It is the most intense love you can experience. Is it hard? Hell yes. By far, it is the hardest thing we have EVER done. I won't lie, sometimes I think that if Luke hadn't been our surprise baby, I would have waited ALOT longer to have another child. But although it is hard now, God has a perfect plan and ELijah and Luke were meant to be brothers. I wouldn't trade our lives for anything...even on the days I want to join in on the crying fest. (I am serious about this. Sometimes I just want to cry while the boys cry. Maybe one day I will...it may make me feel better!)

THINGS WE HAVE LEARNED

-You can't divide your time equally between kids. It is impossible so don't try. I learned this reeaaal quick.

-Sometimes the baby just has to get a lung workout while you take care of the other kiddo.

-With your second child, certain things don't phase you anymore. See above. And you don't worry about poop as much. At least I don't. With Elijah I examined his poop.

-Let people judge. With Eli I was so worried about people judging me for feeding him formula, not babywearing, etc. Now, I could care less. Yep. I give Luke formula sometimes. Sure, I baby wear more this time but not all the time. Oh yeah and the crying it out thing? Do that too. It totally grinds my gears when people post things about how formula is so bad (guess what? IT'S OKAY TO FORMULA FEED!) or how if you discipline a certain way, you will ruin your child. Its just not true. Being a mother is the hardest job there is and the pressure put on mothers makes me very sad. I am glad I am one who now understands it's ok to do what you feel is best and not what others think is. I wasn't always this kind of mother. I have worked hard to become one.

-Any parent that judges another parent needs more to do. Or rather, maybe needs to look at what they are doing a little more closely. Admittedly, I was one of these people. No...my child won't throw tantrums. No...my child won't hit. No...my child won't be a picky eater. Guess what? ALL CHILDREN GO THROUGH THESE THINGS. And to judge a parent by how they handle or do things is not effective. It is actually detrimental to moms...especially new ones. Every mom is amazing. Every mom deserves ALOT of kudos.

-Come up with daily mantras/things I have to just say out loud (hey, my kids don't understand EVERYTHING I say yet). So far I have had to the following: "I will get through this", "It will get better soon", "This will pass", "Stay calm and forge ahead", "Moms do this everyday", "Ignore the small things", "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Help!!!!", "Carlos you better get home. Soon."

-Holy crap. Literally. How can two boys poop so much. The best is when they both do it at the same time and neither one likes to have a dirty diaper longer than 2.3 seconds.

-You would think laundry just doubles. Somehow, magically is quadruples.

-When you finally sit on the couch after both boys are fed and put to sleep, you truly feel accomplished. Mainly just for surviving but accomplished nonetheless.


Raising 2 children under 2 isn't always pretty. In fact, most of the time it isn't. But the moments in between all the crying, poopy diapers, feedings, no sleep, and attitude/tantrums, there are the moments of complete happiness and cuteness. Moments of peace and amazement. Those are the moments that get you through. Those are the moments that totally make every minute, bad and good, worth it.

So I guess I wasn't imagining that...

I decided to share this pregnancy update through my blog because posting it directly on a facebook status just seemed odd. And honestly, some people really don't care (which is perfectly ok). Although..I will share this blog link on my facebook so I guess I am completely contradicting myself. At least you will have to click on the link to see it and it isn't just thrown in your face...ok, ok moving on.

So for the last week I have had some painful contractions and cramps. I remember having uncomfortable Braxton Hicks contractions with Eli and so I had been brushing them off as "normal". I am definitely one of those people that thinks "Oh I am being such a baby. Stop complaining and tough it out." which isn't always the best attitude to have. Yesterday I left school as soon as I could because I felt AWFUL. As in, I couldn't get comfrotable, my stomach hurt, and most worrisome, my back would hurt everytime I would have a "Braxton Hick" contraction. I came home and voiced my concerns to Carlos and I forced myself to sit down and not play with Eli, as hard as it was. I wasn't worried per se but I was curious as to why I was so uncomfortable not really thinking I was having REAL, true contractions.

Fast forward to today. I started having some lower cramping like menstrual cramping which we all know is not necessarily good. I had a scheduled doctors appointment for a regular checkup and because my pain wasn't as bad as yesterday, I didn't leave work early and rush to see my doctor this morning. I made it to my doctors office and told them that I was having some cramping and some discomfort but I had chalked it up to being humongous and tired and being 33 weeks pregnant. They said they wanted to check me just in case and to run a fFN test if they found dilation/effacement and if there was significant progress they would send off the test to the lab. Well she checked me and in an almost surprised tone I heard, "Oh yeah. You are a centimeter and a half dilated and about 25% effaced."

Cue immediate panic. Good thing I brought it up right?

Now, I understand that 1.5 centimeters is not  HUGE progress and I could stay there for weeks but (to me) that kind of progress at 33 weeks is extremely scary. I was admitted into the hospital at 2cm with Eli and in labor. I know every pregnancy is SO different but it doesn't make it any less terrifying. At this point we aren't sure what the next steps are. The doctor assured me that no bedrest is needed right now. They get the test results back that will tell us if labor is possible in the next two weeks and I guess we will discuss things from there. The doctor did say I need to rest when I get home and asked if I was able to sit most of the day while teaching (um are you kidding me??). I am gonna try...I really am. Because now all that matters is keeping Luke in as long as I can. I want to make it to 37 weeks SO BADLY. Do I think I am gonna make it to 39 weeks? Honestly, no way. At this point making it to 37 weeks is my goal. It is my ultimate job at the moment. Please for for us and our little Luke that he cooks just a little bit longer :) Tomorrow I will update with test results and what they mean. For now, it's relax time and trashy TV.

Marriage: How times change!

So I sit here with a massive headache and instead of going to bed like my husband is sternly telling me to do, I am choosing to post a new blog entry. My goal is to keep up with this thing a little better because, like previously mentioned, it does relieve some stress or anxieties I feel from day to day. And these "day to day"'s are pretty intense lately.

At almost 32 weeks pregnant I still feel fairly good. This pregnancy is just so different from my first. It is alot easier in ways but in others, it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I know what to expect, I know what a "true" contraction is, and I understand how huge I am going to get. But to run after Eli while trying not to make this dang hernia worse, have enough energy to be a somewhat normal person, and be a good wife...that is hard. I am currently feeling most guilty about not being the best wife I can be. Carlos has had to take on alot of mommy duties as well as manage his daddy duties. I just can't do certain things like bathe Eli or rock him to sleep because I need to rest and truthfully, it is plain uncomfortable. My back hurts to bend down and the way Eli lays on me for me to rock him is just plain awkward. Not to mention, Luke probably doesn't enjoy his older brother already pinning him down so early in life.

In understanding how much Carlos does for me and our family, I realize God blesses us with people everyday and He  definitely blessed me with a man who is the most incredible husband and amazing father. I can't imagine one moment without him...he has given me such a precious gift with our two boys and he has lived everyday choosing to create memories with me. There is nothing sweeter in my life than knowing we get to go on this journey of life together...and that we get to raise our two sons together. My goal as his wife is to make sure he knows this and that I show him this as much as I can. Nothing is more important to me than my family. As a working mom, I think things get pushed to the back burner and priorities get muddled. Carlos and the two boys take precedence over anything in my life. Sometimes I have to slow down and remind myself that our marriage comes first. No matter what. It comes before work, it comes before money, it comes before our children. What a powerful thing it is to understand that a happy marriage creates a happy family. That without that foundation, things can start to fall apart. I am so incredibly, amazingly, and overwhelmingly blessed to share my life with my soulmate and partner in crime. It is unrealistic to say that I won't take moments for granted or that I won't have to remind myself many more times to put us first, but I hope that I can always realize and admit that I need to slow down. Tough truth: MARRIAGE CHANGES AFTER KIDS. You have to become more creative with your time, more patient, understanding, and willing to share your vulnerability. I have never expressed so many fears, triumphs, laughs, tears, and emotions as I have with Carlos since becoming a parent. It makes you REAL. I have realized what life is about, what matters and what doesn't. Lately, as Carlos and I take our few minutes to talk in bed before sleep, I say "Did you ever imagine we would be here 7 years ago?" And the answer is always yes. As much as our lives and our relationship has changed, we know that this is where we are supposed to be...that God's plan is much more powerful than either of us could have ever imagined. So Carlos, if you are reading this, know that I love you more than anything. That you are my saving grace and the better half of us. Our family is thriving and is happy because of what you are able to give us and the decisions you have made. Although our time is stretched between 10 million different things, you are my #1 and that has never changed.

For our last anniversary I made a slideshow of the last 6 years and it was pretty awesome if I do say so myself. I may end up making a still photo "love story" one day but for the purposes of this blog, here is a super duper (and I mean extremely) condensed version :)

So I took a little blog hiatus...

Well the last time I attempted to write on here, Elijah was 10 months old. I actually wrote a draft and never posted it because I couldn't get his 10 month photos to download. And that marked the 3 month hiatus from blogging on my end. There was (and is!) so much going on that I had to let some things fall by the wayside and unfortunately, blogging was one of them. But, I am back! We shall see if I can get back into the groove of this thing. I really enjoy blogging and it is a stress reliever for me as well. I like to think that by sharing the honest (and sometimes ugly) side of motherhood and parenthood as Carlos and I encounter it, it helps other parents relate...or at least makes them chuckle. So this blog post will be rather lengthy. We have a lot to catch up on blogland! Here goes...

So first things first. I am still very much pregnant. I am currently almost 28 weeks along and the third trimester really seemed to creep up on us. I can't believe that in a matter of a few months we are going to be parents of TWO. And not just parents of two...parents of two BOYS. Lord help us. Boys are amazing though and although very energetic, they are truly mama's little angels. When we found out we were having a boy (Luke) people CONSTANTLY asked if I was upset because he wasn't a girl. Really people?? Does it matter? I think it is such a sad question...its almost as if having two of the same gender is a tragedy. I could not imagine having it any other way and I am SO excited to be the mommy of two wonderful, bouncing, energetic, and loving baby boys. As for trying for another one to get a girl...well quite simply, NO THANKS. We are done. I love being a mom but two is enough. We have always decided that four was the family number for us and now that it has become a reality, we hold strong to the belief that its still the right thing for us. I want to delve a little bit into some things that have been on my mind about this whole "mom of two" thing but let's get to that in a bit. I still have a lot to talk about people.

We are officially Arizonans. We live in an amazing neighborhood in the west valley and we feel so blessed to be able to call it our home. For now we are renting but we plan to buy in the next year or so. Renting was just the easiest option for us as we made the transition from Austin to Phoenix. I am currently working for Litchfield School District (A district! Texas teacher friends...that is the equivalent of exemplary) and I get to work with my best friend!! It has been a roller coaster when you combine the pregnancy, leaving our home, starting new careers/jobs, and still trying to maintain a normal balance at home. I come home most days exhausted but I come home knowing that everything we have done and we continue to do is for our family and it is worth it. I miss AUstin and our friends terribly. Sometimes I forget that we don't have a Torchy's down the road or that we can't take Eli down to Zilker park for the day and it makes me a little blue. But then I think of how amazing it is to have my family close and our friends here who love us and support us. We made this move because it was the right financial thing to do...and we know that it was the only way we could afford a family of four comfortably. It is a HUGE transition period in our lives and there are still bumps daily that we work through but it is getting easier. Life is a series of changes and you either roll with them or you don't. We are rolling with them and so far we are very happy, blessed, and changed for the better. I think our marriage is stronger because we did this together...we have had to rely on eachother for support and a shoulder to cry on. We have had to learn how to manage our stress levels and make sure we prioritize our lives, regardless of what comes up. I love my husband more now than I ever have. He amazes me each and every day and sometimes (ok, ok probably more so nowadays with these damn hormones) when I snap or ask him to take on every single household chore, I realize all over again how absolutely, eternally in love with him I truly am.

Here are some pictures of the halfway decorated house. At some point in time I will post better pictures of a house that is cleaner and nicer looking. THere are no pictures of the upstairs because at the time of these photos, it was a total disaster. Hey, I'm an honest girl!

 The kitchen looking in from the family room

 Other side of the kitchen and a nook for a small office space. To the right of the picture is the door to the garage.

 The family room

 From the front door. To the right is a guest bathroom and stairs. To the left is our formal dining area.

 Looking out the front door. We have a park right across the street!

 Our big front porch. Can't wait until it is cool enough to relax out here!

 Our steps :)

 Leo greeting everyone who comes to the front door :)

 Stairs

Downstairs guest 1/2 bath

And speaking of deep, eternal love, Elijah is doing amazing! He is now a little over 13 months old and he is growing way too fast.  I can't believe our baby is now a toddler! What happened y'all?!?!?! I seriously think I need someone to explain this to me. Everytime I look back at his baby photos, I cry. Carlos has to tell me to stop because I really get myself worked up and its so ridiculous! I love that he is thriving and becoming such a little man, but I miss those baby days. And one day when he is getting married or going off to college, I will be in shock all over again. Being a parent is such a blessing and a curse. And as bad as that sounds it is true. You unconditionally love your babies...but with every passing moment they get older and you know (in the back of your mind) that one day they grow up and they leave the "nest". It just doesn't seem fair. I know, I know. Life's not fair (blah blah blah) but I  just want my little boy to stay my little boy. As a working mom it is hard sometimes because you feel like you miss so much of the day with them. Sadly, I spend more time with my second graders than I do with my own child. I hate that realization. It depresses me. But then I realize how much Eli loves his school and how much he has gained from it. I know that the time I do have with him is true quality time because I know it's limited until the next day when I get home. There are still pros and cons of the working/stay at home mom bit and for now, I still lean towards the working mom side for our family. But who knows, that may change and if it does, we have the flexibility to make it happen. For now I revel in the pure joy I see in my son's face when I pick him up from school and how he runs to me all wobbly, arms wide, grinning ear to ear, squealing. It is my happy place.

We have had a lot of changes this last year but what fun is life without change? I know that in the next year we plan on buying/building a new house and yes, inevitably, probably buying a bigger car (Honda Pilot anyone?) and I have come to the conclusion that life just isn't going to slow down in the near future. Sometimes this thought completely consumes and overwhelms me and sometimes I am able to step back and realize how blessed we are to be able to experience these life changes. God is so good and we are so blessed...good times and bad.

Gender Reveal/ Elijah's First Birthday Party

For sake of time, I am combining both events on one blog post. Being a mommy doesn't allow for a lot of down time so I take what I can get :)

So because this is our last baby, we decided to have a gender reveal party and not find out the sex of the baby until we could find out with some family and friends. We TOTALLY missed our family from all over, but especially in Texas. If I had several computers, I would have figured out how to get everyone on Skype to share the moment but my technological skills only go so far :) My bestie Ness, helped set up the entire thing and filled a box full of balloons so when we opened the box we would see either blue or pink balloons fly out. Everyone made a guess as to what Baby Saenz was going to be, ate dinner, and anxiously awaited the news! 

It's a BOY!!!!

 So blessed and happy!!!

 There is the proof!

 So much fun and so cute!

We already love you so much Luke!

We are so thrilled to be having another little boy!!! I couldn't imagine our family turning out any other way honestly! There is something so special about little boys and their relationship with their mamas. I know it is so cliche, but its true. Is it kind of strange not knowing what it will be like to have a girl? Sure, but that feeling is so minute, so insignificant, that it has literally crossed my mind only ONCE. I can't wait to take my boys to their soccer games or their football practices (I am totally speculating here but if its ballet they want, I can't wait for that either!). Being the mom of two amazing, precious boys is such a gift and miracle (and yes, tiring). Let the adventures of dirt, bugs, and gooey things begin!

P.S. By date the grossest thing Elijah has done is put a cockroach in his mouth. Half alive. And I had to dig it out. Oh. My. Gosh. PUKE.

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For Elijah's first birthday, we had our wonderful family and friends over and really just drank and hung out (I didn't drink although I wish I could've!). It was such a fun day of celebration and love, acknowledging that our son had already been with us for one whole year! It has been the best, most life changing year of our lives. Our love for our little man is unsurpassable and it is amazing in such simple, little ways. Everyday I don't think it is possible to love him any more and the next morning comes and I am proven wrong once again. How big can one heart possibly get??? 

His birthday theme was The Very Hungry Caterpillar and it was so cute (if I do say so myself). When he was a newborn, his amazing Godparents (and photographers) photographed him in a Very Hungry Caterpillar swaddling cloth and hat...it was such a neat connection to his party and the the picture of him in that outfit was featured front and center! To think he was ever that small...:(

To make it simple (being pregnant with a one year old is not easy) we had Jimmy Johns sandwich platters, sides, and cupcakes. I wanted to have some outdoor activities but it was way too hot. Even a pool in 110 is a little much for all the little ones who attended. Needless to say we had a blast and one day it will be so neat to share all the pictures with Eli. For the sake of everyone involved, I will not post even remotely 1/4 of the photos we took that day. Here are just a few that get the point across :)

 Our big boy!

 Made by mommy:)

 Right before opening gifts!

 Elmo!

 Where has our baby gone??

 Smash cake time!

 Ah! This is so fun!

And now I am so over it.

Shortly after this photo, he went down for a nap. :)

Eli: 10 Months

I am getting really bad at keeping up with this. But there is so much I WANT to write, I just plain ol' don't have the time to do it. Between the resigning of my old job, finding another, packing up my entire classroom, having an almost toddler, everything else for this move (oh and being pregnant)...it's been a little crazy. But amidst the craziness, our little man has grown so much and does new things every day. He is the best thing in our day, each and every day. At 10 months old, he is doing alot. He turned 10 months on the 23rd so I will save what he has done the last couple weeks for his 11 month update. Here we go...

MILESTONES

-He is still pulling up like crazy. He cruises all over the place and it is so cute to see him try to figure out how to transfer from one piece of furniture to another.

-He adds new noises and babbling to his baby talk every day. He says all the basic sounds like "mama" and "dada" and "nana" but all his other "words"are too hard to write out.

-He shakes his head no.

-He dances...not alot but he will get down when the mood strikes him.

-He pulls all the books and toys off the shelves and out of the toybox. Not sure if this is a milestone but its one of his favorite things to do :)

-Eli has a little personaity. And by that I mean, he is a little fireball. He has his mama's feistiness...and at  times it shows. I am not saying this is a bad thing...but at times its, well, interesting.

-He loves to sit in a cart and shop.

-DVD's are his new "toys".

-He touches himself. Sorry guys but its true. And I can't get used to it. The doctor (yes I asked the doctor) said it is perfectly normal at his age. Lord, help me with a growing boy :/

-He LOVES Elmo...still. And I can't find an Elmo toy that sings (that is also interesting for a 10 month old) without spending a small fortune.

-Eli ZOOMS around this house on his walker. He is hilarious. He just smiles and drools as he races around :)

-He loves giving hugs and burying his face in your shoulder.

THINGS WE HAVE LEARNED 

-That with a mobile child comes bumps and bruises. I hate it but it's just a fact of life.

-Eli is starting to slowly but surely turn into a toddler. We have to tell him no every once and awhile, distract him with another toy so he is diverted from doing what he isn't supposed to be doing.

-Sometimes, even if you don't thing you will, you just give in. It's silly things, like giving him the iPhone during dinner so you can take a bite of dinner. Or picking up the dropped/thrown toy off the floor for the thousandth time and not wiping it off. I am convinced that a little dirt is good for them. I am more concerned about the germs on a shopping cart honestly.

So on to pictures. Every month it becomes increasingly harder to get "good" pictures of Elijah because he is just so active and doesn't want to sit still. Here are the best we could get this month :)

**EDIT: I never posted this because I somehow lost the card with his 10 month photos on it!!! But at least we got the info :)