I decided to share this pregnancy update through my blog because posting it directly on a facebook status just seemed odd. And honestly, some people really don't care (which is perfectly ok). Although..I will share this blog link on my facebook so I guess I am completely contradicting myself. At least you will have to click on the link to see it and it isn't just thrown in your face...ok, ok moving on.
So for the last week I have had some painful contractions and cramps. I remember having uncomfortable Braxton Hicks contractions with Eli and so I had been brushing them off as "normal". I am definitely one of those people that thinks "Oh I am being such a baby. Stop complaining and tough it out." which isn't always the best attitude to have. Yesterday I left school as soon as I could because I felt AWFUL. As in, I couldn't get comfrotable, my stomach hurt, and most worrisome, my back would hurt everytime I would have a "Braxton Hick" contraction. I came home and voiced my concerns to Carlos and I forced myself to sit down and not play with Eli, as hard as it was. I wasn't worried per se but I was curious as to why I was so uncomfortable not really thinking I was having REAL, true contractions.
Fast forward to today. I started having some lower cramping like menstrual cramping which we all know is not necessarily good. I had a scheduled doctors appointment for a regular checkup and because my pain wasn't as bad as yesterday, I didn't leave work early and rush to see my doctor this morning. I made it to my doctors office and told them that I was having some cramping and some discomfort but I had chalked it up to being humongous and tired and being 33 weeks pregnant. They said they wanted to check me just in case and to run a fFN test if they found dilation/effacement and if there was significant progress they would send off the test to the lab. Well she checked me and in an almost surprised tone I heard, "Oh yeah. You are a centimeter and a half dilated and about 25% effaced."
Cue immediate panic. Good thing I brought it up right?
Now, I understand that 1.5 centimeters is not HUGE progress and I could stay there for weeks but (to me) that kind of progress at 33 weeks is extremely scary. I was admitted into the hospital at 2cm with Eli and in labor. I know every pregnancy is SO different but it doesn't make it any less terrifying. At this point we aren't sure what the next steps are. The doctor assured me that no bedrest is needed right now. They get the test results back that will tell us if labor is possible in the next two weeks and I guess we will discuss things from there. The doctor did say I need to rest when I get home and asked if I was able to sit most of the day while teaching (um are you kidding me??). I am gonna try...I really am. Because now all that matters is keeping Luke in as long as I can. I want to make it to 37 weeks SO BADLY. Do I think I am gonna make it to 39 weeks? Honestly, no way. At this point making it to 37 weeks is my goal. It is my ultimate job at the moment. Please for for us and our little Luke that he cooks just a little bit longer :) Tomorrow I will update with test results and what they mean. For now, it's relax time and trashy TV.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Marriage: How times change!
So I sit here with a massive headache and instead of going to bed like my husband is sternly telling me to do, I am choosing to post a new blog entry. My goal is to keep up with this thing a little better because, like previously mentioned, it does relieve some stress or anxieties I feel from day to day. And these "day to day"'s are pretty intense lately.
At almost 32 weeks pregnant I still feel fairly good. This pregnancy is just so different from my first. It is alot easier in ways but in others, it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I know what to expect, I know what a "true" contraction is, and I understand how huge I am going to get. But to run after Eli while trying not to make this dang hernia worse, have enough energy to be a somewhat normal person, and be a good wife...that is hard. I am currently feeling most guilty about not being the best wife I can be. Carlos has had to take on alot of mommy duties as well as manage his daddy duties. I just can't do certain things like bathe Eli or rock him to sleep because I need to rest and truthfully, it is plain uncomfortable. My back hurts to bend down and the way Eli lays on me for me to rock him is just plain awkward. Not to mention, Luke probably doesn't enjoy his older brother already pinning him down so early in life.
In understanding how much Carlos does for me and our family, I realize God blesses us with people everyday and He definitely blessed me with a man who is the most incredible husband and amazing father. I can't imagine one moment without him...he has given me such a precious gift with our two boys and he has lived everyday choosing to create memories with me. There is nothing sweeter in my life than knowing we get to go on this journey of life together...and that we get to raise our two sons together. My goal as his wife is to make sure he knows this and that I show him this as much as I can. Nothing is more important to me than my family. As a working mom, I think things get pushed to the back burner and priorities get muddled. Carlos and the two boys take precedence over anything in my life. Sometimes I have to slow down and remind myself that our marriage comes first. No matter what. It comes before work, it comes before money, it comes before our children. What a powerful thing it is to understand that a happy marriage creates a happy family. That without that foundation, things can start to fall apart. I am so incredibly, amazingly, and overwhelmingly blessed to share my life with my soulmate and partner in crime. It is unrealistic to say that I won't take moments for granted or that I won't have to remind myself many more times to put us first, but I hope that I can always realize and admit that I need to slow down. Tough truth: MARRIAGE CHANGES AFTER KIDS. You have to become more creative with your time, more patient, understanding, and willing to share your vulnerability. I have never expressed so many fears, triumphs, laughs, tears, and emotions as I have with Carlos since becoming a parent. It makes you REAL. I have realized what life is about, what matters and what doesn't. Lately, as Carlos and I take our few minutes to talk in bed before sleep, I say "Did you ever imagine we would be here 7 years ago?" And the answer is always yes. As much as our lives and our relationship has changed, we know that this is where we are supposed to be...that God's plan is much more powerful than either of us could have ever imagined. So Carlos, if you are reading this, know that I love you more than anything. That you are my saving grace and the better half of us. Our family is thriving and is happy because of what you are able to give us and the decisions you have made. Although our time is stretched between 10 million different things, you are my #1 and that has never changed.
At almost 32 weeks pregnant I still feel fairly good. This pregnancy is just so different from my first. It is alot easier in ways but in others, it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I know what to expect, I know what a "true" contraction is, and I understand how huge I am going to get. But to run after Eli while trying not to make this dang hernia worse, have enough energy to be a somewhat normal person, and be a good wife...that is hard. I am currently feeling most guilty about not being the best wife I can be. Carlos has had to take on alot of mommy duties as well as manage his daddy duties. I just can't do certain things like bathe Eli or rock him to sleep because I need to rest and truthfully, it is plain uncomfortable. My back hurts to bend down and the way Eli lays on me for me to rock him is just plain awkward. Not to mention, Luke probably doesn't enjoy his older brother already pinning him down so early in life.
In understanding how much Carlos does for me and our family, I realize God blesses us with people everyday and He definitely blessed me with a man who is the most incredible husband and amazing father. I can't imagine one moment without him...he has given me such a precious gift with our two boys and he has lived everyday choosing to create memories with me. There is nothing sweeter in my life than knowing we get to go on this journey of life together...and that we get to raise our two sons together. My goal as his wife is to make sure he knows this and that I show him this as much as I can. Nothing is more important to me than my family. As a working mom, I think things get pushed to the back burner and priorities get muddled. Carlos and the two boys take precedence over anything in my life. Sometimes I have to slow down and remind myself that our marriage comes first. No matter what. It comes before work, it comes before money, it comes before our children. What a powerful thing it is to understand that a happy marriage creates a happy family. That without that foundation, things can start to fall apart. I am so incredibly, amazingly, and overwhelmingly blessed to share my life with my soulmate and partner in crime. It is unrealistic to say that I won't take moments for granted or that I won't have to remind myself many more times to put us first, but I hope that I can always realize and admit that I need to slow down. Tough truth: MARRIAGE CHANGES AFTER KIDS. You have to become more creative with your time, more patient, understanding, and willing to share your vulnerability. I have never expressed so many fears, triumphs, laughs, tears, and emotions as I have with Carlos since becoming a parent. It makes you REAL. I have realized what life is about, what matters and what doesn't. Lately, as Carlos and I take our few minutes to talk in bed before sleep, I say "Did you ever imagine we would be here 7 years ago?" And the answer is always yes. As much as our lives and our relationship has changed, we know that this is where we are supposed to be...that God's plan is much more powerful than either of us could have ever imagined. So Carlos, if you are reading this, know that I love you more than anything. That you are my saving grace and the better half of us. Our family is thriving and is happy because of what you are able to give us and the decisions you have made. Although our time is stretched between 10 million different things, you are my #1 and that has never changed.
For our last anniversary I made a slideshow of the last 6 years and it was pretty awesome if I do say so myself. I may end up making a still photo "love story" one day but for the purposes of this blog, here is a super duper (and I mean extremely) condensed version :)
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