One Month: The Learning Curve!

This past Tuesday, our little man turned 1 month old! I cannot believe how fast it has gone. Sure the lack of sleep, occasional frustration, and not really ever being able to sneak in a shower has presented some rather long days/nights but in hindsight the time has FLOWN.

I have come to realize alot about parenthood and especially about being a mommy. When I was pregnant I thought that I would just know how to do everything to take care of Elijah (you know, maternal instinct). Instead, I am learning new things everyday and during the first few weeks it was all about survival mode. I am not ashamed to admit that I had a serious case of the baby blues for about 3 weeks. Many women are too embarassed to admit this but I think it is important for other moms to know they aren't the only ones who feel like this. I was terrified I wouldn't do anything right, that my baby would hate me because I didn't do things perfectly. I was sad that Carlos and I couldn't just get up and go somewhere anymore like we used to. I was scared that our marriage would change so much that we wouldn't even remember why we were together in the first place. All these emotions hit full force and they hit HARD. I would cry out of nowhere because I thought that I would never EVER get any sleep and that Elijah would never stop crying and more importantly, that I would never UNDERSTAND his different cries and what they meant. I was more emotional/hormonal during those first three weeks than I was my ENTIRE pregnancy. I am here to say that these feelings are normal. At the time I just thought "Wow. Am I the only one who feels like this? Am I a bad mother for feeling this way??" But soon I learned, through several close friends and new mommies, that EVERY mommy has some of these emotions at one point or another. Some may feel them more intensely while others have it for a couple days and it disappears. I am grateful for those I love and who love me back for reassuring me it would pass and to just do the best I could and to SLEEP when I could (exhaustion does play a huge role in the weepiness and emotional roller coaster I was on). My husband was such a HUGE help in making sure I was able to recover from surgery and really jumped right in to help take care of Elijah. I seriously could not have done it without him and I continue to realize that raising a child truly does takes a village.

Now, a month (and few days) later, life couldn't be better. Elijah is growing like a WEED! At his last doctor's appt he weighed 11 lbs 0 oz and was 23 inches long! Believe me, this boy is no slouch when it comes to eating! He gets cuter by the day (even as he starts to bald like a middle aged man) and he becomes more aware of his surroundings by the second! He is the light of our lives and even though we still aren't getting a TON of sleep, we are getting a little more each night and I think we are just getting used to surviving on 4-5 hours.

I thought I would just bullet point some things that Carlos and I have learned about parenthood and then a few quick "milestones" Elijah has hit in his first month. For those new parents or parents to be, maybe you can relate (or will relate) to what we have experienced :)

THINGS WE HAVE LEARNED AS PARENTS:

-You learn to survive with little sleep. But it DOES get better. Not overnight but over time.

-Babies never stop pooping or eating. Its just a fact.

-You will snap at eachother. Don't expect your partner to always be in a great mood. Everyone is exhausted and at times frustrated. Take the snappiness with a grain of salt. You know you love eachother and thats whats important.

-You will get frustrated with baby. It sounds awful but its honest. There have been times neither one of us knows what is wrong with Eli. One night he cried for 4 hours straight and we both thought "we cant do this." But you can and you survive.

-Even though you experience frustration, your baby will smile or coo and you completely forget about how tired or angry you are. Nothing else is as beautiful as that. Period.

-HELP EACHOTHER. Like I said, it takes a village to raise a child. Don't expect the roles to be equal but do help one another by supporting what the other is doing. Ask for help as well. The small things, like Carlos sitting next to me while I fed Eli, meant the world to me and it offered the support that I needed.

-Ok one more time: It takes a village to raise a child!!! We have been so blessed to have friends and family in our lives that are willing to bring us dinner, help fold laundry, hold baby while we napped, etc. WE COULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT THEM!!! Rely on your friends and family for support and help as well. Don't try to tackle this journey on your own...it was meant to be shared with loved ones!

-You will learn your babies cries and needs...quickly. I am sure they change as they get older but you learn to adapt I'm sure. I've learned that you and baby are getting to know eachother and that it takes a little longer than a day :)

-Do something nice for yourself. You need to be at your best to be the best for baby.

Yeah. That is my first drink after Eli was born. And it was GLORIOUS! (it was also me doing something nice for myself :) )

-Its ok to let baby cry it out every once and a while. Elijah is so funny. He will get changed, eat, and start to get very heavy eyed and wake himself up. Then he cries. Well this mommy knows he is overtired and needs a nap but he doesn't know this. I will let him cry for a minute and if he doesn't stop, I talk to him and pat his back (I don't pick him up I just turn him on his side a little). Everytime he falls fast asleep. He is actually learning how to self soothe a little too. So we are learning little by little :)

-And finally (I am sure we have learned much more but I will move on) the most important thing I think we have learned: YOU CAN DO THIS. Carlos and I love eachother even more than we did the day before and the day before that. We never thought it could get better or that our marriage could be any stronger. But it has and it is because we created a beautiful human being, our perfect son, together. We sneak little moments together to just hug eachother or lay next to eachother because we know that our marriage comes first. We need to be happy to be the best parents we can be for Eli. So go on dates. Spend 20 minutes drinking coffee together while baby sleeps. Watch a TV show together. Talk. You truly appreciate the simpler things because that is all you have time for and they are a little less frequent than before. You treasure the moments you get to be a married couple, which in turn makes you treasure the times you have as a family.

ELIJAH'S ONE MONTH MILESTONES:

-He lifts his head. ALOT. He is a strong boy!

-Coos and "talks" alot. Cutest. Thing. Ever.

-Smiles! He does it in his sleep and while he is awake. And it even happens when he isn't passing gas.

-He is able to differentiate day and night. Ok well maybe not TOTALLY but we are getting there. The nights are becoming easier and putting him back to sleep after feedings is faster.

-Self soothing. He is starting to clam himself down after he cries. Its still very new but he is learning like I said :)

-LOVES to look at any type of light. Sunlight. Lamps. And his eyes are so BLUE when he looks at the light. I know all babies eyes are blue when they are born but this kids eyes are getting LIGHTER. We seriously may have a blue eyed baby folks. What are the odds.

-He is finding his tongue. He roots, of course, when he is hungry, but then other times he just sticks it out and wiggles it around. I love it. Funny how something like this entertains me now. :)

-He loves tummy time! He lifts his head and neck, sometimes falls asleep, and talks while on his tummy. He is an active little thing.

So not exactly on his tummy here but it was his first time experiencing the play mat. I kid you not, he was content for like half an hour at like, 2 weeks old.

So there it is. I wanted to share a little bit about what we have experienced this month. I will continue to try and write a little bit every other day or so. Most posts won't be this long but I had alot to catch up on! ;) And perfect timing...little man is up and hungry. Mommy duty calls!

First Bath. He HATED it!

First doctors appointment. He was already back to his birthweight!

The picture above and below was his first time to Aggieland. Daddy and Eli were in heaven!